I was on Instagram the other day and came across a post from a guy who, by all appearances, called his mother out in a recent book he'd written. His response to her hurt feelings was essentially, "If you don't want your dirty laundry aired, then don't make dirty laundry."
I understand this feeling. I've felt it more times than I can count. However, I also get what an ordinary place this is to stand in. Nothing new or extraordinary is available in this space. It's the position of someone in the stands of life, as opposed to someone on the court of life.
Some things this person was missing:
The fact that we are on this planet with a life to complain about, only exists because of.... wait for it... our moms. When we consider how remarkable and statistically unlikely our existence is, we might find some gratitude for this life we've been given. And for the person who created and brought us into existence. We wouldn't have a single thing to complain about with our moms.
There is a absence of getting into anyone's world, namely his mom. There's no recognition for what she might have been through, what she might have been up against and absolutely no consideration for the idea that she was doing the best that she could, with were she came from and with what she had.
There is a real attachment to the life he believed he deserved to the life he got, and it comes across very self-righteous. Yet here he is, a social media influencer with book deals, and not an ounce of gratitude for all the experiences he had that led him to and gave him the life he has.
I get how easy it is to fall into this process. I was born to a high school drop out and a pedophile. My childhood was not easy or fun. My mom spent most of my younger years single and raising three kids in a tiny apartment in he slums of San Diego. There was a lot of poverty and dysfunction. A LOT.
And yet I would never air the dirty laundry of my mom as a way to get back at her. I'm thankful for every single experience of my life, especially my childhood. And I love my mom profoundly, mostly because I know she did the absolute best she could with where she came from and with what she had. And I have the life I have BECAUSE of all those experiences. (I also don't create victimhood stories about any of my experiences.)
I think the world would be a better place if we could all just get into other people's worlds and give up our self-righteousness and judgement. We are all up against something. We all have things we struggle with. We all have bad days, and bad weeks, and bad months and even bad years. And yet we are all doing the very best we can.
When I really GOT this, and took this on as a lifestyle, my access to peace and happiness took off profoundly. And it's available to everyone, right now, and in every moment moving forward.
Cheers to waking up every morning stoked AF,
Chris
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