My girlfriend's son plays baseball in a Little League located in Irvine, CA. He's ten years old.
Two nights ago, the umpire made some bad calls and her son's team lost the game.
Since the loss, the coach and parents have been in an absolute outrage about the calls and the loss.
It all started when the coach shared that he contacted the league and accused the umpire of being biased against his team and should never again be allowed to umpire his team again. And then the parents joined in... but more on that in a minute. First let's get some context on Little League umpires for ten year old's..
For those of you who don't know how this works, I'll explain.
Little league umpires get paid basically nothing to give up their week nights and weekends to supervise games of little kids with little to no training. For example, a recent neighbor of mine, a 20 year Army Veteran turned Boeing mechanic since retired, took up Little League umpiring to give back to the youth involved in a sport he loved. He was not trained and he is NOT a professional umpire. When I played Little League, the umpires sucked. They made bad calls every game. And the coaches made sure we all knew they weren't professionals and were doing the best they could with little to know training. We were taught to be thankful for the their volunteering so we could play baseball.
And we were NOT allowed to complain. Ever. Even a hang of the head would have us riding the pine. This was non-negotiable.
Everyone gets the point. Little League umpires do not get paid, do not get trained, and volunteer their time out of the their love of the game and the goodness of their hearts. It has been this way since the beginning of Little League.
The expectation of these umpires should not rival MLB umpires. I also suspect, like the rest of the world, current times means they can't find anyone who wants to work, and that they are begging and stealing to find a warm body to help out.
Back to this story.
So, the coach contacts the league, accuses the umpire of being biased and makes his demands. The league backed the umpire and denied any allegation of bias.
This is where things got really interesting..
The parents lost their shit! They demanded the coach go higher up the chain of command until... justice is served!!
So the coach did and the end result was the league acquiesced and said this particular umpire (the not for profit league President who was umpiring when they had no other alternative) will no longer umpire their teams games, however, they may not have an umpire for their games. They all agreed this was the right thing.
But here's the thing! Life is never fair! Sport is never fair! There are always bad calls! And youth sport does not exist to make sure kids only experience good calls and wins!! Youth sports exists to teach kids that there is always someone better than them, that effort matters, that attitude matters, to teach them how to lose, how to handle bad calls, and this process fortifies who they are going to be when it (name it) doesn't go their way!
Instead these coaches and parents passed up on an amazing opportunity to build character with these kids and instead taught them:
When things don't go your way, keep complaining until you get your way
Never be accountable for all of your countless missed opportunities to win, and instead focus on the things that went wrong
Step over all opportunities for growth and instead seek victimhood and blame
The parents later learned the league can't find umpires because... wait for it... no one wants to umpire at this league because of how poorly the parents and coaches treat them!!
This post isn't saying to NOT confront injustices. There is always and time and place for this.
However, in the world of bad volunteer umpire calls during ten year old Little League games, immediately jumping to an accusation of bias (the umpire was out to get them) and making demands without first seeking to understand, and getting the kids caught up in their story of unfair and unjust, did these kids a huge disservice. All these kids have now picked up the story they are victims of a biased umpire (system) and can't win (be successful) because of this.
I promise you, these kids will take this lesson and apply it to other areas of their lives.
Moving on...
Victimhood is the single most profoundly disempowering place to stand in. When the problem exists out there, we have no control of what's possible; we have no control of our destiny. This is because we can't control what's out there. And when our successes and happiness etc. are dependent on things out there, on things we have zero control of, we will always be controlled by, AKA be the victim of, some circumstance or person or some bad call. And I promise you there are so many bad calls in life that you will never get ahead of them.
Ultimately, when we seek first to be right and self-righteous and make others wrong, seeking to understand and/or trying to be in other people's world, is never available to us. Both cannot exist simultaneously.
If we really want to make a difference for people (our kids in this example), the first step has to be getting into other people's worlds, giving up being right, and being grateful for exactly what we have, AND being open to the lesson of each and every moment.
And here is the main point of this entire blog:
The possibility of anything being different is instantly lost the moment we seek to make others wrong or make ourselves right. The only thing self-righteousness gives us access to, is the exact life we already have.
This is a very difficult concept to get, much less implement as a way of being. However, I promise you, the work is worth it.
Cheers to waking up every morning stoked AF,
Chris
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